There have been two art-related secrets in the past two hansonsecrets and ljsecret posts … and I’m hoping more will be posted ’cause they couldn’t be more closer to how I feel everyday:

secret #1 (hansonsecret): I respect Hanson more than most people. They are doing what they love. They fought for it, and are now doing it ON THEIR OWN. Me, I’m afraid of what will happen after I graduate college with a BFA in art!

secret #2 (ljsecret): I hate that everyone else has their own style. I wish I could figure mine out. My artwork is so boring.

To those outside of art who see my work, they think it’s the greatest thing ever and say I’m crazy to think it’s mediocre. But to those trying to get a degree in it … I’ve felt like I suck ever since I started college. In high school I was one of the best but now I’m just another random face and piece of paper hung up for anyone who happens to pass by to glance over. No matter what I do, I never feel like I’m good enough and keep wondering if maybe I should’ve majored in something else, even though the only thing I’m kind of good at is making graphics (I don’t like drawing (used to), painting, animation, metal, ceramics, weaving, sculpture, etc.) … *sigh* It’s not my “dream” to make art like my Foundations professor keeps mentioning … yeah I like a couple specific areas of it but I don’t know what my dream is or how to figure it out. I wish I had something that set me apart or at least the knowledge that I’m not doing all of this only to fail.