So today … got up around 9, showered, made breakfast for Brian, went on a 10-mile bike ride, got a new printer and 128 MB RAM card that I found out I couldn’t use after I opened it (grr), had dinner at Artie’s, took a nap, talked to Jed (he’s calling me back tomorrow, when I basically have to say if I’m in or out), watched TV (Linkin Park’s new video for “Breaking the Habit” is awesome), and then drove home, getting much-needed gas on the way.

Umm, what else? Went to Alchemy at Nation with Brian on Thursday night, which I’m so going back to. The music rocked, and I love hanging out with those kinda people. I guess a little too much, though, ’cause after about an hour I met this guy Justin, who I ended up dancing with and eventually kissing. He called me today too, so I *might* see him sometime this week, but not sure … after Brian’s reaction (slapping me, literally) to seeing us together, I don’t think it’s a good idea. Then again, he seems like a cool guy, so why not be friends? Just gotta make sure that we stay on that level … I don’t wanna go through another spur-of-the-moment relationship and have it fail ’cause he’s not Brian. Plus, after all we’ve been through, I don’t think it’d work with anyone else. Just need to figure out why I keep “looking” … and satisfy that void (or whatever it is) some other way.

So … Jed just called … and I have an hour or two to decide what I want to do about painting. I either quit or put in 100% … yeah, quitting sucks, but then again, so does the job. But I don’t want to let Doron and my painters down … though they said they wouldn’t mind *too* much if I did. The time and money put in doesn’t really matter ’cause it was a learning experience … just not a positive one. If I quit I won’t have to deal with the evil guy and my 6 other clients (Dad excluded), no more stupid marketing, no estimates in the rain, no cicadas, no counting miles or phone bills or internet fees, and no more stress or feeling inadequate and unhappy. Yeah, I know I might regret this later on, but why continue with something I’ve hated since training? I might be motivated today, but who knows about tomorrow (and just look at the past). You know, some things aren’t meant to work, and I think this is one of them … I’m different from all the other managers. I just want a 9 - 5 weekday job, where I can relax at night, forget about it on the weekends, and party pretty much when I want to. I should’ve cut out sooner … the only things I’m not looking forward to are telling my clients, hearing the reactions of my family, and getting a new job. But hey, they’ll get over it, and hopefully respect my decision. I’m also never using the blue and white color combination again

Photoshop can go to HELL, it stopped responding, froze, and proceeded to erase all my settings, brushes, gradients, etc *cries* At least I got my new Gap layout and various weirdncrazy.com images done before it went psycho. I need more RAM for this thing.

So Shaune doesn’t want to paint ’cause of all the bugs … don’t blame her, but now I’m down from six potential painters to four. At least I know Doron and Bob won’t quit (I hope) … Jimmy is questionable simply ’cause I haven’t met him, and Nate is, well, Nate. He probably won’t, but then again, you never know.

I’m not even gonna go into the ordeal that arose with a certain client today … when someone yells at you, won’t listen, doesn’t believe what you say, and has to talk to your boss for over an hour before any kind of compromise can be reached (not to mention making you upset in the process), it’s a sign that maybe you’re in the wrong line of work. Blah. If only I could quit with a paycheck

At least the whole verified/unverified thing with PayPal is worked out. Stupid CommonWeath combined PayPal’s deposit amounts, but oh well, it didn’t take too long to diagnose and fix the problem. So despite my current overdraft status, my account will soon be $6.50 richer. Yay.

Not much else happened today besides my weird sleeping pattern … did laundry, got my final telecom bill, and hung out with Brian. Bob called twice, so need to see him soon and break “the news.” Blah. Maybe tomorrow ’cause Shaune’s working late. Speaking of tomorrow, it’s supposed to be 90. Fuck. How am I supposed to market in that?

So … today was eh again. Slept in, got woken up by a somewhat angry client, talked to Brian, got some food, watched TV, showered, and marketed for a little bit, but then stopped ’cause I was frickin’ hot and all the bugs were annoying me. I’m so gonna get fired. But hey, if I do, I’ll have one less thing keeping me from Washington … I wish I could go, but oh well. Stupid state location. Why Washington, of all places? Then I went to CVS and Borders for some stuff, and now I’m here. About 4829594 people have IMed me in the last ten minutes, so I was like blah. I like my new headphones though … you can change their color from blue to silver and back again. After pizza with Brian later, gotta come back and get my membership info at the club worked out with Chris before 8. Then I’ll either work out or see Shaune or Doron. Need to get gas too. So adios.

Wow … my horoscope is actually right:

Your efforts are heroic, but the results are still inconclusive. If you feel overloaded, get some help. What you’ll probably learn is that, while the task is possible, your approach is off track. Don’t be afraid to start over. Take the time to look at your plans and figure out to reach success. Look past the frustration. The final product will be more important than the hours put in.

Then again … do I want to start over? Though a lot of people are supporting me, I just don’t think it’s the right thing. Bah. Anyway, now I’m off to shopping and dinner and seeing Shrek 2 (again, yay!) with Brian — another movie I’m definitely getting the DVD of. And why do fire engines keep randomly showing up in my area of the neighborhood? Hmm.

So … Brian got the job at Microsoft, and from what I can tell, they’re offering in the 80 - 90k range, making his decision to stay even harder. His latest IM to me reads, “please oh please convince me not to go.” Blah … what exactly does that entail?

From lashes to ashes
And from lust to dust
In your sweetest torment, I’m lost
And no heaven can help us
Ready, willing, and able
To lose it all
For a kiss so fatal
And so worn …