Shayne and I broke up today … but it actually went pretty smoothly. I feel kinda bad about it, but then again, he felt the same way. Things between us have been weird for about a week so far — like we weren’t communicating that well, and took things way too fast. Plus, with school almost over and us living four hours away from each other, we figured it was the better decision. Granted, we’re still gonna be friends and hang out, and next year he’ll only be a half hour away in Staunton. What’s freaky is that he did a tarot card reading on me Monday night, and it said that I’d had success cheating on him … which was true … blah It’s so weird to be saying that … it’s usually not like me. But oh well … he understands why I did (wasn’t over Brian), it was fun while it lasted, and I’m still friends with his whole crew.

Speaking of Brian, I’m so glad we’re back on good terms now. I’m surprised how much I’ve missed him, but I do, and can’t wait for this weekend (even though work will probably suck as usual). Crap, I forgot to call my leads again today. But yeah … I hope I don’t get “sidetracked” like this again. Though it may feel right at first, it fades quickly, and after awhile you start to wonder what exactly you saw in the person. There’s so much you don’t know, so much that you just can’t replace, and uncovering it sucks. I’ve realized that if I have someone like Brian, I need to appreciate both the good and bad qualities of the relationship, learn and grow from them, and ask myself if I really wanna give that up again — unless I’m crazy, the answer will definitely be no

BTW, I finally won the black Dr. Martens!

Well I got screwed over again for next semester, but not as bad as before, and at least I have an art class. 3/5 of my professors suck according to RateMyProfessor.com, but oh well … maybe I’ll be different and happen to like them.

So here’s what I’m signed up for:

- ART 248: Introduction to 3-D Computer Animation (10:45 am - 1:15 pm TTh)
- GARTH 206: Survey of World Art II: Renaissance to Modern (3:30 - 4:45 pm TTh)
- GHUM 200: Great Works (9:05 - 9:55 am MWF)
- GHUM 251: Modern Perspectives (12:20 - 1:10 pm MWF)
- MATH 220: Elementary Statistics (10:10 - 11 am MF, 11:15 am - 12:05 W)

Notice there’s nothing at 8 am — I’ve learned my lesson And Doron’s gonna be in statistics with me, which’ll be cool (even we both suck at math).

In other news, Eddie shaved his head and wants to transfer. WTF? I know transferring won’t happen ’cause it’s too late, but still … why? I’ll just have to make friends with the new mohawk wearers that are popping up around campus.

Wow, I just spent like three hours talking to Brad about everything from car engines to relationship problems. And it was nice … I wish I could do that with all my friends. Speaking of “friends,” my big decision of the moment has to do with Shayne — this weekend has brought to light many things I’ve tried to forget, and I’m starting to have a weird feeling that maybe going out with him was a mistake. Of course I feel bad, ’cause I hate intentionally hurting people after they’ve gone through hell, even if it is for the best *sigh* It’s obvious I can’t have three guys at once … just dunno what to do … Brad and Neusha aren’t doing that great … Shayne’s glad to have someone who has so much in common with him … and Brian basically needs me more than anything. Is the “winner” in any way apparent to you? I didn’t think so … blah.

Um … yeah … so I went to Nation with Brian last night … and to make a long story short, ended up making out with him and proceeding to spend the night at his house while only getting like 30 minutes of sleep. I so don’t know what to think about anything anymore … my love life is officially screwed up again, but this time it’s my fault. Brian was like, I’d rather be with you and have to share you than be alone *sigh* Why did everything he say have to make sense? Why did it have to feel “right” to be with him … at least for the duration of last night? I dunno … I’ll post more insight later … Doron says I need to do some self-reflection. As for tonight, I’m seeing Brad and maybe Will or one of his other friends. We’ll see …

Will people stop fuckin’ anonymously leaving comments? Geez … yeah, I *might* know who you are, but I’m not psychic, especially when you deliberately try to be “evasive” or “sneaky” by not providing any info. Due to recent events, just prove yourself intelligent, and we’ll all suffer one less headache. Besides, did it ever cross your mind that instead of living in hostility, I might want to actually TALK to you?

FYI, I might be cutting back/stopping ’cause it’s really bothering Shayne … even though he smokes like a pack a day. Yeah, it’s different, but not completely … whatever, all I know is that life is better in slow motion …

Fuck, I forgot to call my leads … Jed’s gonna kill me, especially if I screw up tomorrow. Why oh why did I sign up for this crap?

VNV Nation rocks … Doron has the best music. I wonder what “Die Flut” (by Witt & Heppner) means. Awesome song too.

I so hope I win these — I’ve never seen them before, and the design (except for the weird yellow thing at the top) rocks. Maybe I’ll finally have a clothing collectible. But if not, I’ll just get these. Oh yeah, and I dunno if I’ve already said this, but I won the three spiked chokers I was like score … wonder if I’ll actually get them this time.

My old black hoodie is developing holes kinda fast, namely on the cuffs. Poor hoodie …

Wheee … Eddie, Doron, and Nick are trying to turn me into a stoner. I’m still a little out of it lol … semi-watched “Boondock Saints” with Doron after smoking for like a half hour, even though Nick and Nate left, which sucked … “We Drink Ritalin” is great, too … yay for DDR j-pop songs. Now I’m drinking lemonade, and just ate a Butterfinger. Oh how I love college. And there’s a good chance I won’t go to my 8:30 class tomorrow — my two others are canceled Hmm, what to do … the possibilities.

Yay, this week and next week are good CD weeks:

Is it just me, or is making fun of your girlfriend’s favorite band in front of her with no regard for her feelings wrong? Blah.

In other “news,” I booked a $300 job last night … woo frickin’ hoo. I never knew how much money $25,000 was until now.

I’m also out of both dining dollars AND Flex … must go to Warren after business, which should be interesting ’cause we’re watching a video about some airline’s crazy president. Speaking of crazy, in psych on Friday we’re watching a video about someone with schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder. Nice. Might even have lunch with Nick and Hasan after class, but I’m not holding my breath.