Wow … if yesterday was the inevitable, wtf is happening now? I don’t know … I guess I’m still in shock. I’ve thought for too long that I’d always be with Brian, but I can forget about that. It still hasn’t really sunk in. I can’t believe it’s over … but for a while I’ve been getting signals that the whole thing had just about run its pace.

So far the only people who know are Jessica, Brad, and Shayne … Jessica was sympathetic, Brad was surprised, and Shayne was, well, on both sides. I wonder where that’s gonna go … or where it’ll keep going? Either way, I hung out over there last night for the Superbowl, and ended up spending the night on a last-minute decision. It was okay … met a Bridgewater freshman who reminded me of Sarah, had lots of Coke, and watched Josh’s girlfriend pass out from too much to drink. I hope she’s okay.

From Shayne a few days ago:

I know why the sun shines
And why the snow falls
I know why rainbows shimmer
And where babies come from
But still I don’t understand you
Anymore than you do
And if my dream will come true
Then maybe I’ll understand too

I know why the stars sparkle
And why the moon glows
I know why clocks tick
And why the seasons change
But still I don’t understand you
Anymore than you do
And if my dream will come true
Then maybe I’ll understand too

And I know that it doesn’t matter what I know
The only wisdom is knowing that I don’t know
So please tell me where is this gonna go
‘Cause I’ve become afraid to let my feeling show

*sigh* What to do … what to think.