Gah, why the fuck am I so obsessed with Eddie? I mean, he’s not as clean as Brian … but he’s just so cute (especially when he kissed me goodnight after the parties). And goth. And I’ve been wanting forever to hook up with a goth guy … and now that I’m friends with one … I even told him last night that if it weren’t for Brian and that other girl who likes him, I probably would. Then he was like, “I can tell” … I guess spending the whole day with him will emanate that *sigh* Well, I dunno what to do, there’s no way in hell Brian would let me go without a huge fight, and I don’t think Eddie likes me in return. Then again, I just met him … but still … isn’t love at first sight supposed to happen sometime? I so wanna see him again.

Wow I so slacked off today … haha haven’t done anything and I’m screwed! LOL but oh well, it was worth it … I’ll just do some homework tonight after showering and not work out before anthropology tomorrow and do what I can. Yeah. Yay!

Eddie wants to see Kill Bill with me sometime before Thursday, as well as get a ride home together for the weekend (either with the girl from the ride board or his parents). Which is cool — he agrees with me that almost everyone here is the same, and if he hadn’t met me he’d still be hanging out in his room alone. So that’s cool. And don’t worry Brian, he’s sorta seeing someone

Wow I’m so glad I went out tonight — I met the goth guy! When we first got there I saw him and was like k, gotta talk to him this time. So I told him I liked his hair and he said thanks lol, and then when I was following Allie and everyone to get more beer, he was over by the door, and I looked at him, and he came over! We said hi and talked for a little bit, then he introduced me to his friends, and then they invited me to another party at Fox Hills. Luckily, the rest of his friends were juniors and post-grads and had cars, so getting there was no problem. The first party we went to had a moonbounce, and that was awesome! I hadn’t jumped on one in like twenty years … and I’m not even twenty haha. I said that exact thing to Jessie, and she was flipping out. It was funny. Then we went to a second party, which was cool — the music was awesome, though when I went to get Jessie and myself more beer, I was waiting in line, and some drunk guy rammed the beer crowd like a bull, consequently spilling everything people had in their cups … so I got half-soaked in beer. But I’m mostly dry now … yay. After that we went inside and outside and in, talking and dancing to hair bands and dodging the random small fights going on. We did that for awhile, then decided to go since the two post-grads had already left … and I was sorta buzzed and didn’t feel like drinking much more. So we found the car, Eddie and I got the back, and then Jessie dropped us off at the Village. I walked with him to his dorm since it was on the way, we exchanged screennames, I gave him a hug and he kissed my cheek, and then I walked back to Hillside. Just got done talking to him online … now he’s watching some random movie with his drunken roommate. LOL. Fun times.

Anyway, I’m gonna go get ready for bed and hopefully finish my health reading if I can make my eyes move across the page. Adios!

Okay, so concessions was surprisingly awesome — met some cool people (like Grant and the guy from canoeing), made 450 soft pretzels, randomly saw Adrienne from Foxcroft, and we actually won (34 - 14)! But that’s ’cause we played Richmond lol.

Anyway, just wanted to post that … now I’m off to shower, maybe do homework and there’s a frisbee party later that everyone’s going to. So yeah … bye!

Well, today’s already off to a great start. Aside from sleeping through the 5K (it was weird, my alarm went off but it didn’t register that I actually had to get up) and losing the $12 registration fee, I just found out I have TWO tests on Tuesday (health and GCOM). Gee, thanks for telling us Dr. Proedehl. Not everyone is gonna check Blackboard, you know.

What the fuck, my phone doesn’t work again. It just worked a few hours ago *sigh* I’m so pissed, now I’m gonna have a huge bill for my dorm phone. And I have so much frickin’ work and don’t know where to start or what to do and I should go to sleep ’cause the 5K’s tomorrow but I don’t want to ’cause I just ate a bunch of crap during Save The Last Dance which wasn’t even that great of a movie but I was like why not I just spent four frickin’ hours on the GCOM handout that probably needs to be revised 2000 times anyway. And I would be out … but I wouldn’t have had fun … I wish I could find some cool people … and take my mind off everything I constantly worry about *sigh again*

Well, what can you do … I got six hours to figure everything out …

So I’m probably gonna volunteer here sometime soon … and then, after February, if they like me, hopefully get paid.

Yesterday in art we made 4 x 6 cards, painted them, and now have to mail our “messy” one (like a postcard) this weekend … anyone want it? I’d make more, but my room isn’t exactly the best place to do art, and studio center’s soo far away (and the buses don’t run on the weekends) … which is probably why I’m so behind on everything *sigh* … my hall is annoying. But you already knew that. Anyway. Yeah …

Gonna go take a shower now, I’ve procrastinated enough (since about 6:30) already … watched the end of the Simpsons, Friends, Entertainment Tonight, and Friends again. Fuck I’m so bad … this weekend I need to do my Chandler portrait, finish my black and white photograph, color wheel (even though I don’t have the money for her random paint color requirements), copy my “shy” drawing at Kinkos (it’s frickin’ $2 for an 11 x 14 copy?), and mail my “postcard.” PLUS study for my GCOM test on Tuesday … and work like crazy on my part of the presentation … *cries* I need motivation, and the people here definitely don’t help.

I feel sick … shouldn’t have eaten dinner …

Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

Discomfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting, reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It’s haunting how I can’t seem to find myself again …

LP knows … speaking of which, go watch their video for “Numb” … it’s like the story of my life.