Today was okay. Class was boring, as usual … English is gonna kill me next week. Great. Didn’t have riding or yoga or anything, so yay. Umm … then I took a shower and packed, went to yearbook, and finally headed to Brian’s. We went out to dinner at Applebee’s with his dad, Matt, and Megan, which was good, though I ate too much of my chicken pasta (like always). Fuck. Then we came back, went to the store, dropped his stuff at the cleaners, rented Ghostbusters and The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies, had ice cream, and then I basically left. And am about to fall asleep right now, but who cares. Umm … right, during all that Brian wanted to “romp” upstairs, but since my stomach was feeling gross and I was tired, I wasn’t completely up for it … which he took as a sign that I wasn’t interested (or something), and went back downstairs to read even though I was like wait … so of course I don’t go to sleep, I can’t ’cause I feel bad. So after about 10 minutes lying there like wtf and why can’t I do anything right, I go back downstairs, quietly sit on the couch, watch the sports news ’cause he wanted to see the Wizards score … also Real TV and Daria. Sometime around then he gets our pints of Ben & Jerry’s out, and is like, “are you sure you want some? You can say no, ya know, I’m not forcing you.” Of course relating to the previous little issue or whatever … I was like okay … enough with the making-Claire-feel-guilty thing. Yeah, I know it’s not that, but it definitely feels like it, ’cause I’m paranoid and shy and emotional, and that’s just me … but I guess I better get used to it. I don’t know wtf is wrong with me, but on the drive home I almost started crying, and was blasting Linkin Park.

Anyway, I can’t think anymore, I’m going to bed … hopefully forever. I’ll write more tomorrow if I have time.