I hate guys! They’re all the fuckin’ same, all there care about is sex. Yeah, they say they don’t, but then why is their main objective every time I see them to get me in bed? I’m so pissed. Brad did this, and now Brian is. Sunny and Justin both did a little, too. WTF? Why can’t I find a decent guy who thinks with his head more than his dick? I mean geez — Leslie/David and Kristen/Sam have been together for like 2 years now, and they still haven’t done it. I’d give anything for a guy who is okay with that, and doesn’t bug/tease me everyday about it.

God, sometimes I just want to slap Brian. He doesn’t seem to understand “no” unless I like scream it in his face. And he’s so possessive. Brad pointed out that he never calls me by my name — it’s either “babe” or “my girlfriend” or something. I hadn’t noticed it, but he’s definitely right. Besides, he never did that — he actually acknowledged that I was more than just someone of the opposite gender by his side. Hell, even with all the shit he did to me, for some reason I’m attracted to him more than Brian. And though Brian’s done less shit, there’s just something about the way he acts that pisses me off. He brags about everything (sorry for disregarding that, Shaune) and can’t ever admit that he’s wrong. It’s like unless he’s proven wrong with official scientific fact or something, the other person’s opinion doesn’t matter. He also wants to see me too goddamn much. Like every consecutive fuckin’ day I’m home. Sorry, I don’t know about you, but I have other friends and things I gotta do that don’t involve you. So fuck off and stop thinking I’m cheating on you. God, I so want to break up with him … but I don’t really have any grounds to, unless I want to tear him apart completely. I mean, besides all the crap above, he’s a sweet guy … just not the guy for me. I can feel it. I just really want a break from guys in general. They’re stupid, annoying, and ungrateful.

Anyway, I’m off to bed. I need rest to get through my last week of school before Thanksgiving break. And also to do some more of my stupid architecture project tomorrow that I’m not gonna finish anyway. Ooh, but I might get to see Brad. That’d be nice … maybe

You know, MatchMaker hasn’t really done me any good. It’s definitely brought more pain to my life than I’d have liked … though meeting Brad on there was a good thing. Sort of. I just can’t forget all the shit he put me through: semi-formal (Ashley and that email), calling Jen, forgetting anniversaries/Valentine’s Day, not telling me stuff, being busy 24/7, into sex a lot, etc. *cries* Fuck me.