Dude … Brian is so awesome, hehe. I called him tonight after getting back from Ballston, and what I expected to be a 10-minute chat turned into a 2 hours! Geez, that never happens to me, except for the one time with Brandon last year when we used up my whole phone card on 1 call.

It was cool, though, we talked about a ton of stuff, he even said at one point that if we managed to stay together for a year, we’d be set So yeah … and tomorrow we’re gonna hang out around here (probably have him meet my dad), go shopping (I can’t believe I found a guy that actually likes to shop, lol), and then walk around Georgetown. So yay.

Also, I went shopping today! At two malls! I think that’s a record lol. I found the awesomest pair of pants at Gap (they’re actually loose-fitting) and also got a black tank top and socks. And still have about $50 left on my card, ’cause everything I got was on sale (go me). Then I went to Claire’s and got a cool dragon ring and beaded necklace. It’s weird, but somehow everything I just mentioned goes great together as an outfit, and is definitely what I’m wearing tomorrow, hehe. And then I saw this cool pair of flip flops for $7 at Parade, but didn’t have enough money to get them, so I go home, get my Ballston gift certificate, and then buy the pair at the Parade store in Ballston. So I was definitely happy They’re really comfortable, too! And also at Ballston, I got an 80-disc CD case for $9.99 and two rings that actually fit my pinkies at Claire’s. So yeah. I declare today a shopping day well-spent … no pun intended

Well, I’m gonna go do some site stuff now, but will definitely talk to everyone later … and let people know how tomorrow goes Adios!

OMG … I just had the best night ever with Brian. Actually, the best night with any guy I think. Geez, this is crazy, I never knew I could feel like this lol.

Okay, first we had dinner at Bennigan’s, and that was cool ’cause we actually talked the whole time. Then we saw “The Sum of All Fears,” which was pretty good (during which I mustered up the courage to make the first move by taking his hand ). Then we went looking for Starbucks to get coffee, but that was closed, so we decided to go to his house — and his house is awesome!

He has this widescreen TV, wireless keyboard and mouse … and yeah, I dunno. It was just cool lol. Especially when watching “Whose Line Is It Anyway,” which was so incredibly funny, and then turning on the trance station and just laying with each other as it played. Man, it was so relaxing, and I finally felt truly happy after so many months of telling myself that I was, even when thoughts and events in the back of my mind clued me in otherwise *sigh* He’s so cute, hehe … he was like, jokingly, “when did you have to leave again?” LOL, I wanted to say never.

Anyway, well I’m gonna go to bed now and try to get some sleep. I also gotta look for jobs tomorrow … fun. But hey, it won’t be that bad, ’cause some of that will definitely be online, using the resume that Brian helped me make today, hehe. Plus, if I go to the mall, I can go shopping too, ’cause I have like $80 in Gap gift card money that is dying to be spent Bye!

Okay, nevermind about the whole Louie thing. I just went out to Georgetown with Shaune, and she said not to worry about it. It’s not like he knows anything about girls, anyway — so what the fuck could he possibly know about relationships? He’s had, what, like one, that’s lasted a month? Geez … it’s not any of his business anyway.

Besides, Shaune told me that someone said that when Brian was in the kitchen, he asked someone if they thought I liked him … hehe. ‘Cause yeah, I did … and usually when I do, it’s a totally one-sided thing. But it definitely worked out for the best, though, since by morning everything was awesome

Oh yeah, and I don’t have to go to dinner tomorrow with Jared! Yay! LOL, I know that sounds bad, but I really didn’t wanna suffer through another one of his monologues, so I just blatantly told him I liked him as a friend, and surprisingly, he’s like oh okay, cool, that’s fine. Even though I’m supposed to tell him when everyone’s getting together again … haha, like that will happen

But anyway … I’m really tired right now, so I’m gonna go to bed and try to stop being paranoid about everything. And hopefully Brian will be on in the morning, too, so I can tell him not to worry about Louie and all his stupid crap.

What the fuck is Louie’s problem? God, he completely ruined the good mood I was in. It’s not his fucking business to tell me who to go out with, or who to like, or which guy is an asshole in his opinion. Yeah, and to top it off, he finally directly told me he likes me … after me hearing like ten thousand rumors about it. I mean geez, it’s one thing to show that he cares and wants me to be careful, but it’s fucking stupid, annoying, and immature to try to dictate my life according to his current standards. I was NOT drunk last night, I knew what I was doing … and unless I totally missed something, I believe that Brian likes me. So sue me. For what reasons, I don’t know, but it sure as hell didn’t seem like he was taking advantage of me. I guess that was why Louie was staring at me the whole night. Trying to figure out a way to hide his jealousy with making me go to him and “ask” before I make a decision

Why the fuck does this always happen to me? I hate guys … they always screw me over, and though there are good moments, sometimes I really wish I could die and leave this never-ending drama, which always ends up with me as the victim *sigh* Well, back to being depressed, oh joy. Like Tupac says, “is life worth living, should I blast myself?”

And for anybody who cares, the party was awesome, and we SO got away with it. Yay. But of course, that enthusiasm is stifled because of a certain someone’s aggression towards something that’s not even their business *sigh again* I feel like shit. Thanks SO much Louie, I was really looking forward to enjoying the start of my 18th year.

Man oh man. Almost party time! LOL, Shaune apparently told her parents that she’s going “camping” with my dad, haha … hence us bringing a TV and lawn chairs to the “cabin.” All I gotta do now is pick up Jose and Jen, put the sodas in my car, and head to Shaune’s. We both told my dad we’re going to DC to see another DC Sessions concert, and then walking around Georgetown for a bit. I’m also gonna say we went to IHOP in the morning, in case I get back pretty late *crosses fingers* Yeah, the best birthday present will be if I get away with this.

Oh yeah, and presents: Grandpa gave me Alanis Morissette’s “Under Rug Swept,” Staind’s “Break the Cycle,” thesaurus, Gap card, Kentucky quarters, and a carton of Canadian chocolate eggs from Andrew and Diane, hehe.

Well, I’m gonna go soon and get ready party-wise … so talk to everyone later! I’ll let you know what happens

Hehe, well so far for my birthday I’ve gotten a $100 Citgo gas card from my grandma (yay!) and a $50 check from Aunt Ann and Ed. Awesome — I’m opening some more presents tonight, so I’ll let you know what happens then, too. Also, Jared called me again … the first guy ever that I didn’t give my phone number to (I’m guessing he got it either through Shaune or caller ID) and willingly called me, without letting me know beforehand. I don’t know whether I should be happy or paranoid, lol. I mean, he’s really nice, but I’m not sure if I’m ready for another serious relationship … which I know he definitely wants. And it’s weird … every single guy since Brad that’s liked me has been like him in some way … Greg likes raves, Justin liked TMBG, Jared loves to cook, Jose has his sensitivity (though seeing that in Brad is rare these days), and Brian … hmm … I dunno about him, but he’s definitely has my paranoia, lol. Oh well

Gah … g2g to sleep like now. The fireworks were huge and awesome, visiting Chris was long and painful (haha), and finding out that yet another guy, Jared, likes me (fuck) — can really make a person tired. But oh well … it’s just freaky, I can’t see myself getting involved with someone else already. It’s only been like … 2 weeks *sigh* And besides, who knows what’s gonna happen with Brian … or Greg, who finally IMed me and informed me that his brother was on his name before and was why he didn’t answer.

Oh yeah, and I’m now 18. Yay?