Well … fuck. I just told Brad the wrong dates for the TBS movie. Oh well … his loss. If he can’t pick up the phone for 5 minutes to call me like he said he would … maybe this wouldn’t have happened. But no *sigh* He’s also apparently “too busy” tomorrow to see me as well … which I find funny since we’d hang out like every single day during spring break.

I even found this site called GuyCritical.com, where girls can ask “real” guys questions and stuff … and so me being the paranoid one, goes and asks about the whole cheating thing, and like 5 guys write back all like, yeah, you should believe your friends, they would lie for you, so go figure that his friends would do the same. Gah … this has got to stop happening. I keep telling myself that since we’ve been together for a year now, it’s nothing major and will soon go away … ’cause he loves me, right? He can’t help it if he “has stuff to do” right? *sigh* Too many questions that will probably never get answered. ‘Cause I’m stupid and paranoid and shy and can’t do anything right when it comes to relationships … at least that’s what it seems like. Guys like me … but then when they’re with me, I always fuck something up. Somehow. Though everyone tells me it’s the guy’s fault, that I can do better, etc., etc. … I dunno. Why can’t this be like it was at the beginning … all happy and cute and sweet and innocent … now everything is just crap.