Hi. Yeah … sorry it’s been a few days since I’ve written in here.

I gotta write like the 4 remaining pages of my English paper tonight. Grr … I’m really not in the mood to write an essay. I’m also dead tired (and dunno why), but oh well. I might as well get it over with.

I had riding today, and my chaps would not work. They kept moving around on my legs, which made it harder to ride, so I rode the minimum amount of minutes that I could (30) ’cause they were annoying me so much. I guess it’s back to boots and britches until next Friday … but at least I’ll strengthen my calf muscles while doing it … so it’s not a total loss.

Don’t feel like expanding on the previous entry, so if you have questions or whatever, just email me.

Oh yeah, and guess what? The Zac poser guy that I haven’t talked to in like a year IMed me today. At first I wasn’t sure if it was him ’cause the screenname looked familiar but didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but when he told me his name was Zac, I was like, yep, hi again But he said he lived in Florida and not Oklahoma (like last time), so I can tell he’s not posing anymore. Who knows if he ever did … but yeah. The Zac is back.

And ow, my knees are hurting from sitting like this for so long, but study hall’s soon, and it won’t kill me to sit for a few more minutes. Let’s see … what else is new.

The poetry festival is this weekend. Some kind of poetry crap is going on tomorrow, but don’t know exactly what yet. Brad’s being semi-nice/open/sweet to me, so that’s good. Finished the letter design project in graphic design today. And get to find out what I got on my chemistry and algebra tests tomorrow *crosses fingers* Let’s hope I didn’t fail. Well, gonna go now and see what else there is to do online — adios.

Aw, everything’s better with Brad Last night he came over at 9 and I thought we were just gonna watch a gundam movie, but man, was I in for a surprise! When I answered the door, instead of him just coming in, he motioned for me to come outside, so I was like hmm okay, hehe. He gave me a hug, then told me to close my eyes. I did, and first he hands me a card — and woah, I have no idea how he found it, but it was like perfect. Everything it said was so true, and I was like aww He signed it, “love forever, Brad.” Then he told me to close my eyes again, and this time he placed a bouquet of red roses in my hand! I was just like aww … and so happy. No one’s ever given me flowers before, and I didn’t even care that they were a day old since the florist had gotten the days mixed up or something, but yeah. Besides, at least he’d remembered to do something for Valentine’s Day after I got all paranoid when he didn’t mention anything at all about it on Thursday. So after that I like instantly forgave him for getting caught up in all the anime stuff

Speaking of anime, the gundam movie didn’t work at first, so Brad took it apart and fixed it, then we went to Blockbuster, met Shaune finally, and got End of Days and Dogma. End of Days turned out to be my favorite. Well, I g2g to bed now, but I’ll write more later … especially about the Ole Oles, how we managed to stay up ’til 4 am, and my Valentine’s Day present to him!

Man, I dunno why, but I always feel better after I go shopping, lol Earlier today Ross came up to me and was like, I’m going to Ballston. At first I was like okay, but then I put two and two together and decided to go with him, since I’d been thinking about going there too. Here’s what I got: The Calling’s CD Camino Palmero (for $10!), the Vanessa Carlton single “A Thousand Miles,” and this cool hemp necklace with white beads So yeah, I’m shopping-happy now, hehe. Also, at the little booth where I got the necklace, I saw this awesome punk-y choker (black with silver studs, about two inches in width), and I really wanted that too, but it was $20, so I was like no. But oh well, I’m still happy I’m listening to Camino Palermo (lol Jay) right now, and it’s so good! I really recommend it to anybody who likes Lifehouse or Puddle of Mudd. Or just alternative rock songs that actually mean something, hehe.

Brad-wise, he’s in the back of my mind now … I’m trying not to get all depressed over him while I can help it, though I know that when he comes back on Sunday afternoon I’ll probably slip back into my little depression oblivion again. But hopefully Neil will be able to help me get through that, so it’s all good.

Grandpa’s coming tomorrow, so wonder what we’ll do. Hopefully we’ll go to the Lebanese Taverna for dinner (the food there is amazing), but who knows … we might go somewhere else.

Oh, and guess what? Dad ordered my new plates for the Toyota today, and guess what I finally decided on … I figured MMMBOP was too girly, and besides, I don’t listen to only pop anymore, so I decided on what Brad and Shaune thought was good: FYRGRL! I couldn’t do FIR3GRL (which was what I really wanted) since the limit on letters changed from 7 to 6, but oh well. FYRGRL still rocks for me And I got a “horse enthusiast” plate background, so hopefully it’ll all turn out cool. I wonder when (and how) it’ll come.

P.S. OMG, Starbuck’s new white chocolate mocha coffee is so good! Everyone must go out and try it — white chocolate stuff is the best.

Of course. I knew it. Nothing whatsoever from Brad on Valentine’s Day. WTF? He didn’t even say happy Valentine’s Day when I called him. The closest he got was, “so … how was your Valentine’s Day?” I said okay, and the next thing out of his mouth is more crap about anime. No, he’s too busy planning for his stupid little anime convention thing to even call me or say three little words. I’m so fed up with this. Why don’t I break up with him? Why can’t I stand up to him? *sigh* I’ve gotten more love from Neil (an online card) than him today. I even got him a card and made him a CD, but I doubt if I should give it to him. If he doesn’t care enough to acknowledge his girlfriend for Valentine’s Day, the most obvious day for love on earth, why should I care to stay with him? *sigh* This sucks … I can’t believe I didn’t listen to my friends when they said it was a bad idea to go back out with him …

Grr, this early bedtime/no-internet-after-study-hall thing is really skewing my blog posting schedule. But oh well … not too much has happened since the last post anyway. Valentine’s Day is coming up, and I have no clue if Brad is doing anything. I mean, Erica told me that Neil, who isn’t even my boyfriend, might send me some Valentine’s Day stuff and sandwiches from the deli. Which is sweet and nice and stuff … but Brad hasn’t said anything at all about Thursday … (I even come home that night) — should I be worried? When we went out to dinner on Saturday, I was like I come home on Thursday, and I think it’s Valentine’s Day too … wanna do anything? And he was like … um maybe, I might be busy. So *sigh* … it was like he didn’t care. And I doubt he’s planning anything, ’cause he’d be “too busy” to do that. So yeah, watch yet another holiday-type thing go by without us doing anything. Typical. I’ll probably spend it online talking to Neil about how much it sucks. But oh well … g2g to the senior project presentation thing now, so ttyl.

Aw, I just had the best night with Brad! Okay, first I drove to his house and got there around 3 (instead of 2:45) ’cause I got caught in two annoying traffic jams. But oh well, he didn’t mind or anything. Then we hung out for an hour or two playing computer games, planning how to put together his skating rail thing, and helping his parents with the typical Saturday afternoon house cleaning stuff. And there were a few moments during that time when we just started being stupid and goofy with each other … hehe, it was cute

After we got done with that, Brad offered to take me to an Italian restaurant for dinner, even though it’s not his favorite food. I was like aww, ’cause usually it’s Chinese (though I love Chinese too). We went to this place on route 50 called Cafe Italia I think, and it was pretty good! They had awesome onion rings, and I got spaghetti with this onion/egg/bacon sauce, and Brad got ravioli, which he said was really good, so yay. Except he wouldn’t let me pay for my half … I tried though!

So yeah, we go back to his house, then hang out in his room for a little more, listen to random songs … have a good cuddle session, hehe. He also sang “Yesterday” by The Beatles to me, which was sweet ’cause at first he didn’t want to ’cause he “wasn’t good” (yeah right). Then we found out that the plasma ball in his room lit up in synch to the bass of the music, which I thought was so awesome! I was like, I want one! LOL.

Oh, and know what rocks? His parents will be gone the first week of March in the Bahamas or something, so I’m guessing I’ll be spending a lot of time over there, if you get my drift I’ll try to be good, haha. And guess what? I have a 3-day school week this week — yay! Thursday night is the start of long weekend, and Valentine’s Day … how convenient, hehe. Hopefully I’ll be able to see Brad then if he isn’t too busy. Grr, wish he didn’t have the anime convention to go to, but oh well. He’ll be back Sunday afternoon, so it’s all good. Man, I dunno why, but I’m so happy ’cause of today. I finally got to spend more than 2 hours with Brad, and this time half of it was alone, which I definitely needed.

Oh yeah, forgot to write how the rest of the night went. Well, after the music and plasma ball experience, Jai shows up, and after hanging out with him for awhile and trying out the virtual headset that he brought (lol, that thing can make you dizzy), we talked with Brad’s parents for awhile, which was good — they can be cool sometimes! Told stupid jokes … played around with matches and food coloring … always fun! Then his mom found this easy cookie recipe that her mom had given her at like Christmas or something, and Brad was all excited and was like, ooh, gimme gimme! I wanna make it! Hehe, ’cause he’s into cooking and all that. Which is funny ’cause I’m the opposite … I can barely cook … couldn’t even spray the Pam oil into the pan right, haha

Speaking of cooking, know was what kinda cute? When he told me about his parents going away, he was like, hey, maybe one day you can come over and I’ll cook you dinner or something? I was like aww, sure! Isn’t that sweet? Never had anybody make dinner just for me before Anyway, after we made the sugar coconut nut cookie brownie things and put them in the oven, Brad wanted to show his parents Lupin (an anime movie), so we watched that for the rest of the night. And even though I’m not a huge anime person, I liked it! But maybe that was ’cause it had a love storyline to it, and I got to watch it with Brad’s arms around me the whole time, keeping me warm So can’t complain!

Well, around 11:15 it ends, and after eating the brownie cookies (which were really good with milk, btw), Jai and I both had to leave *sniff* I call my dad to let him know I’m on my way home, spend a few more minutes with Brad, giving him goodbye hugs and kisses, and then reluctantly head out the door. It was cute, though, even when I shut the screen door and started walking towards the car, he kept waving and making funny faces until I was basically out of sight I was happy the whole way home, too, blaring “I Will Come to You” on repeat, and getting back around midnight!

Oh, and guess what else? I have to change my license plates soon, but don’t wannna have the boring generic numbers and letters on them again (wanna be creative and stuff), so my dad agreed that I could customize it if he approved of what I wanted, so yay! Brad suggested FIR3GRL and I was thinking about MMMBOP … but FIR3GRL is looking pretty good! I’ll tell you what I pick as the final phrase, though.

Well, it’s almost 2:30 … was supposed to be in bed by 1 (oops, but Dad won’t care), so I should be going soon — ttyl though! I’m probably seeing Shaune tomorrow, so I’ll let you know how that goes.

I knew it. I so knew it was gonna happen, but did I do anything about it? No. Of course not. Well, last night I got caught being online after 11 (11:50 to be precise … I would’ve gone to bed in 5 minutes anyway, but that’s “not relevant”). Not like they cared when they saw me doing it before … it was like all of a sudden they decided to restrict my life even more — though they didn’t care at all when I did it last semester *sigh* I don’t get this place sometimes. So now no more staying up with Neil, no more chats with Brad, no more last-minute site updates, no more nothing. Even though they’re only making me stay off after study hall for like 1 1/2 weeks, it’s gonna seem like a year to me, ’cause the net is like my haven when everything else is going crappy … especially at night. And it’s not like I don’t do this at home or anything … my dad doesn’t care, so why should everybody here, especially when it was fine 1st semester? But oh well — due to nameless people on a power-trip in this dorm, guess I’ll just have to get on more during the day.