Ahh! I feel a slew of sleepless nights coming on. I’m worried about Brad … he’s not just sleepy tired anymore, he’s more like exhausted tired … and I know that definitely doesn’t feel good, nor is it healthy. I hope he gets better soon. And it’s also not that fun, ’cause he doesn’t feel like talking much, and of course with me I get all paranoid and start thinking that something’s wrong relationship-wise, even though it probably isn’t And tonight Neil declared his undying huge crush on me … I was like woah, ’cause with every reply he’s saying something along the lines of how I’m so nice and cute, and I’m just in shock like … dude … I don’t deserve this much attention, lol. And woah, he just wrote me three more poems! I don’t know what it is I do, but he says I’m an inspiration to him:

#1:
It would be nice,
if I could think twice,
about how you make me smile,
but I would like,
to treat you right,
and we can maybe talk for a while,
yet your so great,
I cant debate,
on how you brighten my day,
your so funny,
cute as a bunny,
and make my sadness go away …

#2:
and i look into your face
your words speak of grace
my sadness you embrace
caring
and baring
a once broken boy
you take my frown
turn it upside down
talking
and walking
i hope i dont annoy
fixing my tangle
your such an angel
my downward spiral
you put to an end
cleaned the wound to mend
my heart that was shattered
and battered
with so much trust
i wish i must
tell you become my greatest friend

#3:
let me hold your hand
it would be grand
if we could stand
side by side
day by day
face to face
you and me
i look you in the eye
please dont you cry
your heart i gave you
was mine
and in time
for when you care for me
help me see
the truth from the inside
dont let me hide
i want to tell you
you make me a better person
always
forever

Just .. *sigh* … I wonder how Brad really feels about me. I know he loves me, etc … and that’s he’s feeling kinda down … I dunno, just some stuff that happened before (i.e., me initiating a lot of things) is happening again, which is kinda freaking me out. But I’m sure it’s just another phase that will eventually pass, and soon I’ll be in Brad’s arms again, and everything will be fine *happy sigh* I miss him …