Okay, it’s official. I guess. I am horrible with guys. Either I unconsciously do something that makes them not want to hang out with me anymore, or I’m just not as interesting in person as I am over the net. Brad like hates me now for some reason I don’t know, Alex doesn’t talk to me as much as he used to … and on the girl side, Christina just plain doesn’t talk to me. What is up with that? The only thing I can think of is that after we meet, I’m always happy to see them online so I IM them … but then I notice that they never IM me. It’s always me doing the initiating. But … why does that happen? That shouldn’t be enough to sacrifice a friend/relationship! I mean, in person, everything is perfect … it’s just the online, non face-to-face stuff that gets me. If someone knows what the hell I’m doing wrong, then please let me know. I’m tired of getting my hopes up about getting to be good friends with these people, only to be shot down and ignored *sigh* The only person who actually still “liked” me after our first few meetings was Brandon, but he’s away in North Carolina in the army until Christmas. So, that doesn’t help much. On another note, even though I stayed up ’til 2 am last night watching some stupid TLC show which never turned out to be as interesting as I thought, and it’s 10 am now, and I’m not tired. I rearranged my room yesterday, and I think it looks much better. Basically all I did was put another level onto my dresser to make room for more stuff, and then clear off my desk area and organize all my CDs more … and that was basically it. But I love my room now, hehe … except for the book Endurance that’s lying on my desk, 10 pages into, dying to be finished. I don’t even know if I can read any more. My brain has been fried from the past 3 weeks of 40-pages-a-night sessions … and reading now is something that I have to force myself to do … ’cause I just can’t stand it. The only book that I semi-liked was Ethan Frome ’cause the plot kinda resembled what was going on with me and Alex … but oh well. And also probably ’cause it was only 77 pages long. Hehe. By the way, my favorite song at the moment is “Feed It” by The Candyskins (from The Waterboy soundtrack). It rocks Well, g2g check email and do all that fun stuff, so ttyl!

By the way, I called Brad yesterday. Of course, I had to ’cause he “doesn’t want to anymore” or something We talked for like 5 minutes … from his voice it was like I was bothering him. God, WTF? Can’t he just TELL ME if I’m being an annoyance to him? ‘Cause if so, I’ll stop and put you out of your misery. Then at the end, he mumbled “I love you” and it didn’t even sound like he meant it. I dunno, maybe he was just tired ’cause he said he was more than usual, but that shouldn’t inhibit your emotional speaking ability, right? *big sigh*